Phrases & Actions to AVOID


Grieving parents often have the unfortunate experience of encountering insensitive comments or unintentional hurt, no matter how well-meaning the person is.

Luckily, the person or couple you know has you. Just by reading this, and being concerned for their comfort at this time, shows that you care a great deal about them and that you are sensitive to their needs right now.

DO NOT ignore our loss.

DO NOT be afraid to offer your love and support.

DO NOT be surprised if we accept your love and support.

DO NOT overlook my husband's grief - he lost his child too.

DO NOT say any of these insensitive remarks:

  • Anything that starts with, "at least..."

  • "It was for the best."

  • "Perhaps It was a blessing in disguise."

  • "It was God's will."

  • "It must have been deformed or abnormal."

  • "Forget it, put it behind you."

  • "Thank goodness you didn't have a chance to get to know him/her."

  • "Better now than later."

  • "You can always have another baby."

  • "You have other children."

  • "You'll get over it..."

DO NOT change the subject when we talk about our loss - be our friends and listen.

DO NOT refer to our children as "fetal tissue, products of conception, embryo or fetus."

DO NOT try and protect us from the pain of coming home empty-handed by removing baby items from our home. Although we are sure you are well intentioned, it will help us grieve if we do it ourselves at our own pace.